stars align

I should be reading for Victorian lit right now, but it's not a big assignment and I feel like blogging instead. I'm becoming a little bit obsessed with my blog, especially once I discovered the "stats" button that tells you how many people view it, what countries are looking at your blog, etc. The competitive part of me tells me to do what I can to make those numbers go up. I'm not really sure how, but continuing to blog seems like a good start. And to my international viewers, welcome! I get excited when I see other countries highlighted on the viewership map. Although you probably ended up here as a mistake, so, sorry about that. 


I've been thinking a lot lately about how different my life might be if I had made different choices. And how seemingly small choices lead to such huge outcomes. And how a frightening amount of my choices are made on whims. Example:


Going to BYU instead of BYU-I: Whim
Living in the Waldron House 2 years ago: Whim
Studying French: Whim
Majoring in English: Yeah, definitely not a whim, more like years of painful process of elimination
Joining Yearbook in 8th grade: Whim
Applying for the job I have now: Whim
Applying for the UNC job that saved my life at the time: Whim


So many times my thought process is, "Well, why not?" or "Well, I don't have a strong opinion on anything, so I might as well..." And can I just say, I am one lucky girl? So many of these whims have turned into some of the best experiences of my life. 

• Joining the yearbook staff in 8th grade in Wenatchee led to 4 years of Rexburg yearbook staff, some best friends, and exposure to the field that I ultimately ended up pursuing in higher education. 
• The UNC job that I was completely unqualified for and almost didn't apply to, that ended up giving me incredible life experience, best friends, significant financial support when I was honestly destitute, and helped me grow so so so much and find strength in my personality that hadn't been there before. 
• I can't even begin to think of all the ways my life would be different if I had stayed in Rexburg and gone to BYU-I. I think I wouldn't have made the same mistakes, but I wouldn't have learned the same lessons and grown in the same ways and met the same people who made such a difference in my life. 
• When you move into a new place without knowing a soul, what are the odds that you would live with 5 other random, incredible people who all become your best friends and help shape who you become? After already having it happen once before with a different set of people? With a personality type that relies heavily on relationships with others, this has been such a huge blessing in my life. Not to mention I have wonderful roommates right now as well. I think once you hit 3 sets of cool roommates in a row, you are supposed to graduate. 

So, whether you believe in divine guidance (I know I do), chance, fate, luck, or chaos, I think it's safe to say that everything you do has a ripple effect for you and others. Maybe what you ate for lunch today is going to shape the way you look at life in five years. Maybe that casual conversation you had last week will make or break a relationship next week. There's no way to know. I don't really know where I'm going with this, other than to make an observation that it's crazy how everything is connected and that sometimes (not all the time), by not over-thinking the implications, you wind up at the happiest endings. And I'm very grateful for all of mine. 

One time, my good friend Laurel and I went on an adventure in Salt Lake, to see some off-beat, quirky, backstreet stuff the city had to offer. We wound up in a little music store and bought some used CDs that we ended up liking. While we were there, the store had a CD playing, and it was someone I had never heard before. I loved his voice and the simple but haunting style of his music. I jotted down some lyrics to look up later, which I did and discovered it was Elliott Smith. Had I not gone in there, I might never have discovered Mr. Smith, and now I love his music. I felt very indie about the whole thing. Another happy coincidence. 

Also, we ate at a little place called "Em's" (for obvious reasons) and it was a small fortune (to a poor student. Entrees around $18-25 range), but the food was AMAZING and organic as well, I believe. I had this: Free Range Chicken Breast stuffed with Goat's Cheese & Pine Nuts with Mashed Potatoes and Seasonal Vegetables (from their website) and it was seriously some of the best food I've ever had. If you've got some money to burn and an even slightly more refined palate, you'll love it. But make reservations. They don't like it when you just walk in. They start to panic and stare at their seating arrangements for a while before they invite you to sit down. And everyone else around you has a reservation and is dressed nicely and brought a bottle of wine with them. So if you do all that, it'll be great. 

Anyone have any accidental happy endings they want to share? 

WHOA I'm alive!

Dear 1 1/2 readers,


Guess what! I'm still alive! Yes, yes, I know, I fell off the face of the earth...again. It was just a bad semester to try and get anything done. But now it's over! I'm still going to be busy, but after a bad case of winter doldrums I feel like my life force has finally returned to me and I can start being engaged in my own life again. And now I have a lot to catch up on. So...let's get started!


I don't have access to all of my pictures at the moment so I won't be doing anything in-depth, I'll have to do that later. But here's a little bit of what you missed:


Despite my complete failure to stick to my "new things every week" plan, I still made it my goal/attitude to try new things and to not hold myself back out of fear. Because of that I gained:


A spur of the moment trip to Las Vegas
A trip to San Jose/San Francisco
Great memories associated with both of those trips
A love for Thai food (sooo good! sorry if I mentioned it already, but it's crazy yummy)
An editing internship for the fall (!!!!!!!!!)
Experience interviewing for editing jobs (no jobs though, but its okay, I'll be more qualified soon)
A husband (ok, not really)
More confidence to speak up in my classes 
More confidence in general
Better money management skills 
And basically a lot of good times


What have I learned? To just go for it. Things typically work out for the better. You could be missing out on a lot if you hold back out of fear. 


Next up:


I hit my one-year mark of growing out my hair!!!! Happy Anniversary to me!!! To celebrate I went and got a trim for super cheap and it ended up being a great haircut. 

Forgive my weird face, I have a hard time taking pictures when I can see myself

Unfortunately, from this moment on my hair has not looked this good. I just don't take the time. But it does have layers and lays pretty well! I also think that it is a significantly lighter brown now, and I am a significantly darker pink. But it's getting there! I think in another year or two it will be about where I want it. And so, the journey continues. 


And speaking of pink...

After a day at the beach

Remember I said I went to California? Well that was this last weekend. and I came back looking like this! Not one of my better moments. I would say that on an average day my hair is a mix between these two pics: a little bit wavier/frumpier than the 1st pic, a little more fuller/well-kept than the second pic. I also don't have any makeup on in the second and I look like a LOBSTER. Actually, my poor damaged, peeling, flaky skin has more in common with this guy than anything else:

But with longer hair

Also, as a side note, if you are the type of person who enjoys assisting others in removing dead skin from their back, hit me up. I know, I know, it's super gross. Just thought I'd give it a try. But just know that I'm suffering. 


Uuuummmmm I also finished my awful semester and am now waiting on pins and needles for my grades. But really, I want to know what I got! Here's the rundown of my classes:


Creative Writing: LOVED! much harder than expected. learned a lot. wrote some good and really bad stuff.
Writing Literary Criticism: Loved my teacher, was bored with the class. Mostly a review from previous class/building on those skills. Not a huge fan, but did learn good things. 
Grammar: Hard! Great teacher. Not great test scores. Learned a lot.
Modern American Usage: Interesting! not always easy. learned lots and lots. loved my teacher
French: Tricky. Hard at first, got easier, then got hard at the end. Great teacher. Passed. One more french class to go, c'est vrai! Semi-beginning-oknotreally fluent now. I can read about 85% of Le Petit Prince with little or no difficulty, which is exciting. 


And now that we have had a nice 4 day break, classes have started up again! This time it's


Brit Lit: The Victorian Era-my fave period of Brit Lit. I'm doing my capstone in the fall in this period so I'm excited to learn more and more about it. I also just LOVE learning about literature! teacher seems cool, i know quite a few people in my class. classmates seem cool. 
Basic Editing Skills-THE class to learn how to be an editor before anyone will hire you. really excited to be taking it. Teacher is a really nice guy as well. 
Computers and the Humanities: Print Publishing-basically an intro to design for people who don't design. and  I do NOT design. I am the antithesis of visually artistic. But I like the teacher so far. 4 days a week (yikes). Who knows, maybe my blog will get cooler as a result? not likely...


They all promise to keep me insanely busy with homework, but i'm learning about things that I want to/must learn about, and it only lasts 2 months, so I'm pretty pumped. Also, upper-level classes are slightly intimidating. 


Also in the last little bit I have...


Fallen in and out of love with this song

The music video is cool (and i think it illustrates the back and forth, both parties are to blame-ness of the relationship) but I think I almost prefer the Glee version. But seriously, California only plays 3 songs on ALL of their radio stations, and this is one of them. And this happened after I binged and listened to it on repeat 980 million times. So I definitely got my fill/never want to hear this song again. Also, this version is just insanely cool because all the parts are played on one guitar with 5 people. 


Gotten antsy over the pending graduation of half the glee kids
Ok, I will be the first to admit that glee is a sucky show. The writing is terrible, the plot is unbelievable, and characterization changes at the drop of a hat. But I can't stop loving it. I've been invested in these awful awful people for 3 years now, and now they are splitting up (supposedly. the nerve of Ryan Murphy knows no bounds) and I'm a little bit heartbroken. It's been fun. 


Gotten antsy over the immediate dispersion of my real friends
Last night I watched (yep, and sure did not help. I hate packing and she had a system, it was okay) the second to last member of my group of friends that I've lived with for two years pack up her stuff in preparation to peace out on me. In June the last one will leave. Some are coming back, but not until after I'm gone (graduation is in the foreseeable future, CRAZY!) so our little group is finally splitting up for good. It's so sad! I'll miss them all. We had some awesome times, that's for sure! Love you girls!

The dream team
(Greta [white coat] didn't live with us but she can still be in our group cause she's pretty great!)

 Watched the worst movie in the world
In an attempt to indulge our slightly inappropriate obsession with Josh Hutcherson, Bri and I watched "Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" a pre-Hunger Games film featuring the object of our admiration. And it was the worst movie in the world, even given a "child's-movie" handicap. And it had really good actors in it. And they all sucked. Terrible acting, terrible lines, terrible movie. I would periodically bury my face in a pillow and chant/groan, "I hate this movie," but finished it out of spite. And I still don't know what even happened other than the main boy got hotter and the movie progressed and his friend (Josh Hutcherson) got much less attractive. Dear movie makers: don't have the actor with the super thick Asian accent explain your main plot points. It took us two days and lots of physical pain to finish it, but we did it. And I had to give myself a few days of space from Josh Hutcherson afterward because his image was tainted for me. Enjoy!

Revived my love of what might be one of the best songs ever
When Heath Ledger died, we had a candlelight vigil that ruined our table. When Whitney Houston died, we sat in stunned silence and then we watched the Bodyguard and sang along and cried (kind of). And I remembered how completely AWESOME this song is:

Well friends, I think that might be good enough for now. I'll get back with the deets of my trips and other fun things later. À toute à l’heure!

At Santa Cruz Beach in NorCal with Bri--the scene of my sunburn