latest and greatest (or not): how i spend my time

Happy What-May-Be-My-Last-Pioneer-Day-Ever! It's been a good day: sleeping in, working out, swimming, cafe rio, and now lounging and blogging. my life really isn't too bad, is it?

So, remember last term, how I was so busy I nearly died? This term has been decidedly different. It still has it's moments, but for the most part it's been chill. Another big difference: I watch movies all the time. Some fun, some not so fun. And I read a lot (not abnormal). And watch TV shows online and listen to a little new music. It's basically a contemporary culture overload. And I'm going to tell you about it, because it seems like this is all I do lately, and not always by choice.

Books

Mmkay, I still haven't finished Amaranthine, it's just soooo pointless. We did hit a plot...development? Something has changed. But I'm about 50% through the book and I Still Don't Know What It's About. There appears to be no purpose to this book. Not looking forward to finishing it. 

So far this term I have read: The Taming of the Shrew, A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Merchant of Venice, Richard III, Othello, King Lear, and now I'm starting A Winter's Tale. After that, I just have to read The Tempest and I'm done! The main things I have learned in this class are that a) Shakespeare was a genius and b) not all of his plays are created equal. I hate Taming; love Dream and Merchant, hate Richard, and can't really handle the other two tragedies. I find Othello to be terribly frustrating/stupid, and Lear really is just tragic. I don't hate it like Othello, but I don't enjoy it. 

I haven't started my two new novels, that honestly might not happen until Christmas break. I found out I have about 30 items on my Fall book list, which means so much reading. I'm really excited to get into classes about genres and time periods again rather than just one author, even if it is the Bard himself. I like seeing multiple viewpoints. And can I just say that, despite my occasional complaints, I LOVE being an English major? Literature is really just one of the most amazing things and studying it opens my mind and helps me to see the world in new ways.


Summer Break (2 weeks) to-do reading list:


Finish Great Gatsby
Finish the awful Amaranthine
Maybe squeeze in one of my new novels
The Hobbit (actually never read it before)
(Prep for my upcoming Victorian Lit Capstone class)
Our Mutual Friend
The Moonstone
Dracula
I think there's more, but I can't think of them at the moment. 

Movies

So, for every Shakespearean play I have been reading, I have been watching at least one adaptation. This is nice because his works really were intended to be performed, so it helps me to understand what I'm reading. And it gets me extra credit, which I can handle. (94% on my shakespeare midterm, woohoo!) One of my absolute favorites is this version of Midsummer Night's Dream. Star studded cast, visually beautiful, with a soundtrack that gives me chills and moves my soul. One of my new favorite movies period. The other main one I want to mention is "O," an adaptation of the awful, awful Othello. I hate this movie, don't ever watch it. The awfulness of Othello is only made worse by being set in a prep school among teenagers. Blech. Also, Ian McKellan is in every Shakespeare anything, ever.


I also saw SPIDER-MAN and it was sooo good! Andrew Garfield is seriously so cute and did a great job. It's hard to decide who I left the theater with a bigger crush for: Andrew Garfield or Emma Stone. Love them both! And the Lizard was the scariest Spiderman villain I've seen, they did a great job with that too! Great mix of funny, sweet, scary, emotional, and actiony, and much better than the other Spiderman movies!


And on Saturday I saw DARK NIGHT RISES!!!!! I feel like i really need to go see it again because I got so caught up in trying to figure out the story that I missed some of the experience, but it was sooo good! very satisfying conclusion to the three movies. Christian Bale is seriously so great, and even though it was a really heavy movie, there was still a lot of funny and touching moments, some even tear-worthy. I spent a lot of time with my hand over my mouth, being very stressed or shocked at what I was seeing. Some parts were hard to watch in light of the shooting in Colorado, and it was a little unsettling/sad being there and thinking about it. Also, something that was so scary about the movie is that, aside from a few stretches of imagination, it's fairly realistic. It was just bad people doing bad things, and good people sometimes intervening. And it makes you think...can the things they are doing really happen? Also, Bane is terrifying because he is just a person, but he is GIGANTIC and mean and scary and amoral. scary stuff, great movie! Batman is the greatest, even if you can't understand what he is saying.


I also watched Captain America in preparation for Avengers, which I still haven't watched. It was aight, mostly sad and kind of boring. I need to get to the theater and see Avengers before it's gone. But that gets hard to do when all I want to do is see Batman again. Also, everyone else in the world has already seen it.


TV


I saw the top 20 episode of So You Think You Can Dance, and got really excited, and haven't gone back since. I think reality tv/dance competitions are more fun to watch live, on actual tv. Hulu doesn't really do it for me. It looks like a good season though!


I know I've gushed about this in my "What I'm Currently Obsessed With" section, but I rewatched Seasons 1 and 2 of Sherlock and I'm starting to think it might be the best show in the entire world. Words can't describe how much I love this show. I would happily sit down and rewatch it again right now if I didn't have other obligations (like writing a long pointless blog). I've also developed a massive crush on Martin Freeman:

I can't explain it: he's short, kinda goofy looking, and 16 years my senior. But there is just something so amazingly appealing about him, not to mention he's a fabulous actor. You may recognize him from this:

Yeah. If possible, The Hobbit just got cooler. Martin Freeman is adorable. And I am systematically hunting down everything he's ever done and watching it. This has included forays into the UK version of The Office, in which Freeman plays Tim, the show's Jim character, and I am loving watching him! The accents, vocab, and cultural references are so intensely British that I don't understand a solid 30-40% of what they say, and there are so many things that are identical to the American version (since the American version is based heavily on this) that it's been a weird experience so far, but he is just so cute, secretly pining over Dawn (Pam) and giving the camera these looks when David (Michael) and Gareth (Dwight) do outrageous things:

But i digress. Sherlock is the best show in the world and if you haven't seen it yet, shame on you. 

There is also something oddly sexy about Benedict Cumberpatch/Sherlock Holmes

Seriously, I laugh, I cry, I scream in fear, and then I laugh and cry some more. It's SO GOOD. And there is not much more that I love in life than a good mystery and a bro-mance, and this show has the best of both.


Music

Me and my roommates stumbled upon these guys (from Provo) and have been off and on fangirling over them. They are playing in a battle of the bands this weekend so hopefully we get to go see them! This video is thebomb.com, watch it!


Also, my favorite folk group The Lower Lights, also based in Provo, came out with a new album! They take regular hymns and some spirituals and do a folk take on them, and every time I hear it all I can think is, "this is how religious music is SUPPOSED to sound!" what I love about folk is that the arrangements allow for some fun and some really beautiful harmonies that keep religious music entertaining, but at the same time is so down to earth that it just feels more reverent and genuine. You can listen to their new album at that link, but just for funsies, here is a live recording of one of my favorite slow jams from them (they have really upbeat ones as well). They obviously sound a tiny bit better on album, but this is pretty true to their recorded sound.

I loooove these guys, and listen to them all the time.


Other than that, I have been doing a lot of editing for people, which has been a ton of fun! It's so fulfilling to help someone improve their writing, another thing that I truly love to do. I had midterms last week (94%, 92%, not too shabby) and am now just winding down the term and working on end-of-the-term stuff. I randomly decided to move next month, so now I need to try and sell my contract and get ready to pack. I'll be homeless for a couple weeks, but I'm also quitting my job so I won't be tied down to anything and I can wander and go visit home and hopefully some other places. We'll see. It will be sad to leave Special Collections, but with my editing internship in the fall and crazy cramming-as-much-as-possible-into-my-senior-year it seems like a good time to move on. I'm moving into a house in my old ward, my current roommates and some friends are also moving into that ward so I'm excited to go back to a place I loved, be near them, and have a nice clean start for this next year. But if you know anyone that would like a contract in my apartment building, PLEASE let me know!


So for now, I'm using up the last of my summer and looking forward to the newness and new adventures of fall semester, which is officially my last fall semester at BYU. It's been a long, winding, sometimes never-ending road, but I'm nearly there and it has definitely been a good ride so far!

Look at my long hair! Me with Kaiti (Far left) and roommates Jordan and Dana. Love these girls! Oh, yeah,
we went to a roller derby and it was so fun! Summer is great!

As I write this, I'm having an epiphany. Bear with me, I get in these moods and there's no getting out. The tragedy is that this epiphany is prompted by my FINALLY watching the Christmas episode of Glee. I know, I know. I like Glee. My stock of Glee merchandise is growing (I've only ever bought myself one shirt, the rest have been gifts) and I scoff at myself but if you ask me when a song was sung I can tell you which episode and under which situation, and I still get giddy with 85% of the episodes. I can't help it. But that is not the point of this post. So, I wish I had watched this episode sooner because it had a fairly cliche christmas message but one that I wish I had internalized sooner. Last year they had a Grinch theme, and this year was a Charlie Brown Christmas type message, ie the true meaning of Christmas. It was cute. Some parts were annoying. I still love Rachel and Finn and I can't help it. So as I'm laying snuggled in my bed because we forgot to get our gas service renewed and we won't have heat until next week (ha!) I watch this closing number:

My good friend Brianna sent me multiple texts over Christmas because every time she heard or saw this song it reminded her of me because I love Glee and I love Africa and I love this song. But before you start thinking I'm a better person than I am, let me qualify that by saying I am very interested in Africa, as in I love to watch movies about Africa, read books, I love learning about 21st/20th Century Africa and the history and the politics and the stories about the people. But I've never been to Africa, and it's not even in my top 5 places I would go to if given the chance (not that i would turn down a trip, I just have my sights set on Europe). I have a humanist interest, but not a human interest. Does that make sense?

I think there are two colleges at BYU that are primarily concerned with people: Social Sciences and Humanities. The Social Sciences are about action: learning about what has gone on, what is going on, and what you can do to be apart of it and contribute in some way. The Humanities are a little different as they study people in a more passive sense; they look at what people have done, what ideas and principles lay at the core of these actions, and they look at trends. Their accomplishments lay in knowing things, Social Sciences lay in doing things. I'm not saying that this is universally true, or a bad thing, I am naturally inclined to the Humanities faction and I love it and can see it spill over into many different aspects of my life. After last semester I now understand and value the modernist/post-modernist movements in the arts and have a love for Virginia Woolf and her insane writing. How many of you can say that, huh? But as I watched that video I got a little choked up because I always get a little choked up over just about anything and I thought to myself, this song doesn't represent me, because I don't do things, and that song is about doing and thinking differently. I know things and I appreciate things and that's about it. Okay, I'm going to come back to this in a minute.

So, I will be the first to admit that I have been a Debbie Downer these past few weeks (hilarious SNL clip). It has a little to do with life changing around me while I sit still, and a lot to do with turning 24. I don't know why but this birthday hit me like a wrecking ball. And it's not so much getting old, but what I haven't accomplished at this point. I have not finished school, or even gotten into the practical curriculum of my major (graduating April 2013, fingers crossed!) I am not married nor do I have prospects on the horizon. I'm just as broke and tired and frustrated as I have been the last few years, but at 24 it doesn't feel okay to be that way anymore. Which I think is the core of my problem. The way I'm feeling about everything.

I was talking with a friend a couple nights ago and it has really stuck in my mind. I do not know this friend very well, we've only known each other a couple of months. But I love hearing him talk because everything he says, no matter what the situation and without fail, has a positive spin on it. I've heard him tell stories that range from serious trials to lighthearted annoyances and every time he adds, "but they are a really good person" or "but it could have been worse," etc. Not only that, it is a genuine statement, not just a tacked on, cover-your-bases-with-a-"nice"-blanket statement. I don't know that he even realizes he does it. Regardless, it has made an impression on me. And as we chatted the other night and he said really positive things about just about everything, and I (realized in retrospect) whined about all the not-that-hard things in my life that have me down, I thought, "How amazing to see life like that." and then while I was watching Glee I thought "Why don't I try harder to make my life awesome?" Really, my life is not bad. I sleep on a Glee pillow case (a gift!), and some people sleep outside because they don't have homes. My walls are covered in black and white posters of Paris and while I haven't been there yet, I know about it because I have had a top notch education and if I made it my top priority, I would have a 100% chance of visiting in the near future. These are good odds! The fact that I have so much time to sit around and stew over better uses of my time is a good indicator that my life is pretty cushy.

SO. What's the point? The point is, I want to take a human interest in things. I want to be doing. What is my plan? Well, I will need your help for this, because I have always been a sucker for peer pressure. Every day I want to do something I've never done before. It can be small, such as saying hi to someone who looks like they could use a hi (for reals, never done it) or it can be big. It can make a difference for others, or it can be a slight convenience for myself. Hopefully it will be a mix of everything. As long as it is something new. I won't plan it, but just go with what I'm brought that day.

BUT. There's more. I'm going to be setting weekly and monthly goals to make it interesting. Par example:

This week: Be in a good mood for 7 days. It doesn't have to be an organic good mood, it can be forced as long as it is there. Cut back on negative comments. Give more compliments. Think about the people around me.

This month: Follow through. I am SUCH a flake and I quit when things get hard/uncomfortable. And I hate this about myself. So? My first order of business is to keep this project going for at least 30 days (overall goal 1 year) in order to improve my ability to follow through on my commitments.

AND. And I will be blogging. It may be short, I will likely be busy, but I want to keep track of this and blog more. Who knows, maybe I will get a book/movie option out of it ;) jk

WELL. Well, what is my ultimate goal? My goal is to have the best year of my life. It is to get uncomfortable, to get organized, to get interesting. So, enough thinking, and feeling, and writing. It's time to get a life!

Today: Today I washed my roommate's hair in the kitchen sink with water we boiled on the stove (no natural gas, remember?). I can honestly say I've never done that before. Pictures to follow (someday).

-------
A poem I wrote for my creative writing class that I think sums up my sentiments exactly:


Writer’s Block

I went to write about love,
              but it wasn’t wooing me
I went to write about injustice,
              but it wasn’t wronging me
I went to write about art,
              but it wasn’t wowing me
I went to write about pain,
              but it wasn’t wounding me
I went to write about joy,
              but it wasn't welcoming me
I went to write about triumph
              but it wasn’t winning me
I went to write about religion,
              but it wasn’t wracking me
I went to write about awareness,
              but it wasn’t wakening me
I went to write about life
              but it wasn’t waiting on me

See you tomorrow!

Also, my hair is growing out quite nicely!