My goal this week is to not be ruled by my emotions, which had excellent timing because I’ve been kind of grouchy this week and feeling the need to act on these negative feelings. It may be hard to believe but I am actually a pretty cheerful person, and probably 80% of my bad moods have some physical cause (lack of sleep, illness, etc) which I am starting to recognize more clearly. It’s actually kind of cool the way the body let’s you know what it needs.
Anyways, woke up Monday in a fierce angry mood, and one poor person—who I have been feeling frustrated with on a good day—became my target. My feelings turned 180 (for the worse) and I was ready to cut them out of my life (I didn't actually do anything, but I thought about it). By Tuesday, I realized my feelings might be exaggerated, or even completely false. So I’m biding my time. It may turn out that it’s time to move away from this person after all, or it may turn out that in a day or so I don’t feel this way at all. But because I’m actively trying to determine what my body and mind are doing, I’m avoiding doing things that I will regret down the road.
Does this happen to anyone else? I feel like I’m sounding a bit bi-polar.
New things so far:
Graded my first reader submission for the journal I’m working with. And I gave it a terrible grade. I feel a little bad, but it was actually a terrible paper. But it made me excited to be an editor.
Paid my first utility bill through the gas company…and it hurt. And I’ll even be reimbursed ¾ of it by my roommates. I don’t know how grown ups do it.
I made it through my entire French class today without giving the wrong answer or looking stupid*. I can honestly say this hasn’t happened before. I think I’m getting better!
This didn’t happen this week, but last semester I went for my first ride on a scooter! It was really fun but really scary (we were going like 15 miles an hour…maybe) but I kept thinking I was going to topple off. Not to mention I was on the back, so I had no control, although Tara is a pro and I had nothing to be scared of.
I also got my first smart phone this week! It’s pretty awesome, I spent 3 hours on it when I first got it. The novelty is starting to wear off but it is really convenient and works so well! It’s some Samsung cheap thing (no i-phone for me just yet) but I still like it. And feel like I belong to the masses. Although really I just like “Words With Friends.”
I officially need to work out a budget. Like, a real budget. This is the first time I’ve taken the idea seriously.
I think that’s all. Someday I’ll start taking pictures so there is something interesting to look at on this blog.
*An example: The other day we were supposed to describe with a partner how early we get up on Saturday morning and why. However, I thought it said Sunday morning. So I said I get up at 8 because I have church at 9, and the girl looked at me and was like, “Really, you have church? Are you Jewish (not that there’s anything wrong with that)?” (She said it in perfect French) And I was like…“What?” Yeah. Ridiculous.