Thursday, May 17, 2012


I feel like I should do something to mend my image-killing ways. First off, campus is seriously glorious right now. It is green, it is quiet, and you can smell the delicious beds of flowers as you walk past them. The weather has been a dream: warm but not too hot, a mix of sunny and overcast days but no rain, cool breezes. If it was like this all the time in Provo I might stay here forever. 

That being said, I'm mounting a petition for a cease and desist order against EFY, which will be starting shortly and stamping my reverie under it's trendy, sing-songy, adolescent feet. I'm not sure when I became a curmudgeonly old person, but somewhere along the way it happened. 

Speaking of old people, I was taking a round-about stroll through the blocks south of campus on...Saturday? My weeks feel like months, I'm not sure of time anymore. But yes, I think it was Saturday. And I happened to stroll past a cute little house (there are a plethora of them in Provo, something I love about it) and I glance over and there is an older woman (I would say probably 70s) sitting in a chair on her back porch, listening to an oldies song, and sewing/doing some sort of craft that involved cloth and hands. The image of her plus the music plus the stunning afternoon just gave me such an impression of contentment. I almost walked up to her to chat and see who this lady was, but I needed to get to campus. And I'm a chicken, let's be honest. There just seemed to be something so lovely and pure about what I imagine to be a sweet lady who has lived a good life, sitting in the pleasant weather, listening to the songs she's loved since she was young, and doing something skillful and useful in her own quiet way. I don't know if that is what she is really like, but it's what I imagined and it's what I want for myself. To look back on my life and be content. To still be enjoying and creating things 50 years from now. Not such a bad goal to shoot for, is it?

So, in dedication to you, my new semi-fictional hero, a few of my personal favorite oldies:

Stardust, by Nat King Cole

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, by the Platters

The always-classic Unchained Melody, by the Righteous Brothers

And of course, Fools Rush In by the King himself, Elvis

I hope you all have a lovely night thinking about happy memories and beautiful music. 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

i'm not proud of this

I just want to start off by saying, I know I'm pathetic. I know I know I know. But I just need to talk about Glee for a minute. I'll keep it short. So, I watched the 3rd and 2nd to last episodes of the season and *Spoiler Alert* WE WON NATIONALS!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the most perfect Glee performance I have ever seen (well, show choir style performance. Toxic might still be my favorite, just ignore the hormonal audience members and the disgusting display of midlife crisis). And then they sang to Mr. Shue and I had tears streaming down my face as I sat in the FOOD COURT at school and watched on my laptop. Here are their videos:

It was just so amazing to see their dreams come true after so long. I remember the first time I saw Glee, I was living at Glenwood and I just stumbled on it on TV I think, and I was like...what is this? So I found the first few episodes online and I was hooked. I remember Laurel was out at the complex pool and I went to go join her and I was I found some cool new shows. And now...this....

And now I'm sitting in my room crying watching this. I'm so sad! Next Wednesday is going to be rough. And this time I'm going to make sure I'm home so I can cry in the privacy of my apartment. 

Just think, they went from this....
to this:

Sorry the video is weirdly zoomed in. But I love them, I just can't help it! And also, notice a pattern with Mr. Shue sneaking up on the Glee club with tears in his eyes. Creeper? A little. Anyways, go ahead, judge me, I can take it. And I'll get to work on rebuilding your opinion of me. Just give me a little time to grieve first. 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

stars align

I should be reading for Victorian lit right now, but it's not a big assignment and I feel like blogging instead. I'm becoming a little bit obsessed with my blog, especially once I discovered the "stats" button that tells you how many people view it, what countries are looking at your blog, etc. The competitive part of me tells me to do what I can to make those numbers go up. I'm not really sure how, but continuing to blog seems like a good start. And to my international viewers, welcome! I get excited when I see other countries highlighted on the viewership map. Although you probably ended up here as a mistake, so, sorry about that. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about how different my life might be if I had made different choices. And how seemingly small choices lead to such huge outcomes. And how a frightening amount of my choices are made on whims. Example:

Going to BYU instead of BYU-I: Whim
Living in the Waldron House 2 years ago: Whim
Studying French: Whim
Majoring in English: Yeah, definitely not a whim, more like years of painful process of elimination
Joining Yearbook in 8th grade: Whim
Applying for the job I have now: Whim
Applying for the UNC job that saved my life at the time: Whim

So many times my thought process is, "Well, why not?" or "Well, I don't have a strong opinion on anything, so I might as well..." And can I just say, I am one lucky girl? So many of these whims have turned into some of the best experiences of my life. 

  • Joining the yearbook staff in 8th grade in Wenatchee led to 4 years of Rexburg yearbook staff, some best friends, and exposure to the field that I ultimately ended up pursuing in higher education. 
  • The UNC job that I was completely unqualified for and almost didn't apply to, that ended up giving me incredible life experience, best friends, significant financial support when I was honestly destitute, and helped me grow so so so much and find strength in my personality that hadn't been there before. 
  • I can't even begin to think of all the ways my life would be different if I had stayed in Rexburg and gone to BYU-I. I think I wouldn't have made the same mistakes, but I wouldn't have learned the same lessons and grown in the same ways and met the same people who made such a difference in my life. 
  • When you move into a new place without knowing a soul, what are the odds that you would live with 5 other random, incredible people who all become your best friends and help shape who you become? After already having it happen once before with a different set of people? With a personality type that relies heavily on relationships with others, this has been such a huge blessing in my life. Not to mention I have wonderful roommates right now as well. I think once you hit 3 sets of cool roommates in a row, you are supposed to graduate. 
So, whether you believe in divine guidance (I know I do), chance, fate, luck, or chaos, I think it's safe to say that everything you do has a ripple effect for you and others. Maybe what you ate for lunch today is going to shape the way you look at life in five years. Maybe that casual conversation you had last week will make or break a relationship next week. There's no way to know. I don't really know where I'm going with this, other than to make an observation that it's crazy how everything is connected and that sometimes (not all the time), by not over-thinking the implications, you wind up at the happiest endings. And I'm very grateful for all of mine. 

One time, my good friend Laurel and I went on an adventure in Salt Lake, to see some off-beat, quirky, backstreet stuff the city had to offer. We wound up in a little music store and bought some used CDs that we ended up liking. While we were there, the store had a CD playing, and it was someone I had never heard before. I loved his voice and the simple but haunting style of his music. I jotted down some lyrics to look up later, which I did and discovered it was Elliott Smith. Had I not gone in there, I might never have discovered Mr. Smith, and now I love his music. I felt very indie about the whole thing. Another happy coincidence. 

Also, we ate at a little place called "Em's" (for obvious reasons) and it was a small fortune (to a poor student. Entrees around $18-25 range), but the food was AMAZING and organic as well, I believe. I had this: Free Range Chicken Breast stuffed with Goat's Cheese & Pine Nuts with Mashed Potatoes and Seasonal Vegetables (from their website) and it was seriously some of the best food I've ever had. If you've got some money to burn and an even slightly more refined palate, you'll love it. But make reservations. They don't like it when you just walk in. They start to panic and stare at their seating arrangements for a while before they invite you to sit down. And everyone else around you has a reservation and is dressed nicely and brought a bottle of wine with them. So if you do all that, it'll be great. 

Anyone have any accidental happy endings they want to share? 

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Catastrophe and Contraband Goldfish

Hi friends!
I have survived yet another crazy busy week of a 9-credit spring term. I'm still impossibly not caught up in any of my classes, but I'm closing the gap on at least two of them. A couple more hours of focused homework this weekend and I'll be able to breathe for a second or two (but not more than three, or I'll be behind again). As a treat for myself, I'm making brownies and I'm starting "The Vow," so I can indulge in some emotionally-charged romance. I'll let you know what I think later. On a side note, there was a preview for "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen" and it looks really good! Love me some Emily Blunt and Ewan McGregor, complete with what I believe to be their real accents. So, that has made it to my list of "would prefer to see"s. 

Another few fun things to mention: I got a new roommate! Tara inexplicably sold her contract, and my new friend Claire moved in this weekend. So far, my impression is that she is a darling, super sweet, super polite, nice, fun girl. I think we will get along just fine. 
Other cool thing: Allyson is back in America!!! We got to chat for a couple hours on the phone tonight, it was great! I'm so excited to have one of my best friends (top 10 at least! [that's for Allyson]) back within the limits of modern communication.

Now I want to share a story with you, that I feel sums up the sort of luck I have. (Another side note...I can't handle the level of cuteness (the good kind of cute) exuding from Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum right now! Oh, and she just lost her memory and my heart just broke in half.) 

So, I have 2 goldfish that I inherited from a roommate who inherited them from someone else. I love these little guys, I've had them for about 8 months now. I don't know exactly how legal they are according to my housing contract so I try to stow them away whenever management comes around. Saturday I had tucked them away in a little cupboard while they came and did a run-through to make sure Tara had cleared out for the new girl. Afterward, I was in the kitchen with my roommate Jordan, and she was making dinner. I remembered my hiding fish and went to grab them. They were on the top shelf in this little cabinet thing, and as I lifted their tank/bowl thing out, the shelf started falling down in the front! It's the kind of shelf that sits on little pegs, and one of the front pegs had fallen off. This would not have been a problem except I was standing there with a heavy tank in my hands halfway on, halfway off of the shelf, in bare feet, and everything else on the cupboard was sliding off. Including a glass vase. Which proceeded to fall at my feet, somewhat landing on my foot, and shattering. 

So I'm crouched at this little cupboard, unable to move because if I keep pulling the tank off the shelf, it will completely fall (and it had a can of paint and other items on it. It's a random cupboard), and if I put it back, it might fall with the tank (and my poor fish!). So I'm yelling "Help me, Help me! Jordan, help!" But she has her hands covered in something so she has to take a second and then comes over midst glass everywhere, and helps prop the shelf so I can move the fish. We take the heavy stuff off the shelf and it balances back. I notice a little cut on my second toe on my right foot, but don't think too much of it. I move to find some shoes so I can pick up the glass, look down, and my toe is gushing blood. I'm leaving trails of blood on the floor. So then I grab a paper towel, fold it up a bunch of times, and wrap my toe up so I can find some shoes, which had all disappeared for some reason. (Claire was moving in at this point so I'm trying to stay out of her way as well). I find someone else's sandals and slide them on so I can help clean up, and I look at my foot and the wadded up paper towel is soaked in blood. How much can one little toe bleed? I mean, really? The cut is maybe 3 centimeters long, maybe even just two. So I decide, heck with it, I'm going to take care of my toe before I bleed to death and let Jordan clean up the glass. Which I did. She was a trooper.

One Band-aid later and all was well. I finished sweeping up, moved the fish to their rightful home on the end table in the living room, and went on with my day. Moral of the story? Breaking the rules can cause stress and heartache. But sometimes it's worth it:
My buddies 

Fun fact: After I left to go chat with my friend Cami an hour or so later, Jordan was reaching on a high shelf for some Tupperware and knocked off a two-cup glass measuring cup. Which shattered. And she got a little cut on her finger which bled a lot. So, if you come over to our apartment in the next few days, make sure to wear shoes in the kitchen. 

To send you off, here is a picture of two other guys that I just adore:
Twin nephews Nathan and Caleb. Look at their expressive little faces!!
They are moving to the other side of the country soon, and I am very sad :(

I'll get a blog about my trip to Cali soon. Until then, Au revoir!