Tuesday, May 15, 2012

stars align

I should be reading for Victorian lit right now, but it's not a big assignment and I feel like blogging instead. I'm becoming a little bit obsessed with my blog, especially once I discovered the "stats" button that tells you how many people view it, what countries are looking at your blog, etc. The competitive part of me tells me to do what I can to make those numbers go up. I'm not really sure how, but continuing to blog seems like a good start. And to my international viewers, welcome! I get excited when I see other countries highlighted on the viewership map. Although you probably ended up here as a mistake, so, sorry about that. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about how different my life might be if I had made different choices. And how seemingly small choices lead to such huge outcomes. And how a frightening amount of my choices are made on whims. Example:

Going to BYU instead of BYU-I: Whim
Living in the Waldron House 2 years ago: Whim
Studying French: Whim
Majoring in English: Yeah, definitely not a whim, more like years of painful process of elimination
Joining Yearbook in 8th grade: Whim
Applying for the job I have now: Whim
Applying for the UNC job that saved my life at the time: Whim

So many times my thought process is, "Well, why not?" or "Well, I don't have a strong opinion on anything, so I might as well..." And can I just say, I am one lucky girl? So many of these whims have turned into some of the best experiences of my life. 

  • Joining the yearbook staff in 8th grade in Wenatchee led to 4 years of Rexburg yearbook staff, some best friends, and exposure to the field that I ultimately ended up pursuing in higher education. 
  • The UNC job that I was completely unqualified for and almost didn't apply to, that ended up giving me incredible life experience, best friends, significant financial support when I was honestly destitute, and helped me grow so so so much and find strength in my personality that hadn't been there before. 
  • I can't even begin to think of all the ways my life would be different if I had stayed in Rexburg and gone to BYU-I. I think I wouldn't have made the same mistakes, but I wouldn't have learned the same lessons and grown in the same ways and met the same people who made such a difference in my life. 
  • When you move into a new place without knowing a soul, what are the odds that you would live with 5 other random, incredible people who all become your best friends and help shape who you become? After already having it happen once before with a different set of people? With a personality type that relies heavily on relationships with others, this has been such a huge blessing in my life. Not to mention I have wonderful roommates right now as well. I think once you hit 3 sets of cool roommates in a row, you are supposed to graduate. 
So, whether you believe in divine guidance (I know I do), chance, fate, luck, or chaos, I think it's safe to say that everything you do has a ripple effect for you and others. Maybe what you ate for lunch today is going to shape the way you look at life in five years. Maybe that casual conversation you had last week will make or break a relationship next week. There's no way to know. I don't really know where I'm going with this, other than to make an observation that it's crazy how everything is connected and that sometimes (not all the time), by not over-thinking the implications, you wind up at the happiest endings. And I'm very grateful for all of mine. 

One time, my good friend Laurel and I went on an adventure in Salt Lake, to see some off-beat, quirky, backstreet stuff the city had to offer. We wound up in a little music store and bought some used CDs that we ended up liking. While we were there, the store had a CD playing, and it was someone I had never heard before. I loved his voice and the simple but haunting style of his music. I jotted down some lyrics to look up later, which I did and discovered it was Elliott Smith. Had I not gone in there, I might never have discovered Mr. Smith, and now I love his music. I felt very indie about the whole thing. Another happy coincidence. 

Also, we ate at a little place called "Em's" (for obvious reasons) and it was a small fortune (to a poor student. Entrees around $18-25 range), but the food was AMAZING and organic as well, I believe. I had this: Free Range Chicken Breast stuffed with Goat's Cheese & Pine Nuts with Mashed Potatoes and Seasonal Vegetables (from their website) and it was seriously some of the best food I've ever had. If you've got some money to burn and an even slightly more refined palate, you'll love it. But make reservations. They don't like it when you just walk in. They start to panic and stare at their seating arrangements for a while before they invite you to sit down. And everyone else around you has a reservation and is dressed nicely and brought a bottle of wine with them. So if you do all that, it'll be great. 

Anyone have any accidental happy endings they want to share? 

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